So today I realized a detail about myself that is quite revealing about my personality at large. The only time I ever really wish I had money (or a large gift card equivalent to a substantial sum of money) is when I see advertised a book I really want to read/add to my library for a later date.
I admit to you all I have a Disney’s Princess Belle fantasy where a man gives me a dream library complete with a ladder that moves across bookcases (I always thought that was the coolest thing- although it would probably prevent me from reading as much as I would without the temptation there). Nonetheless, I feel it would be completely amazing to live in a place that had an actual library. My parents are both solid readers and the many homes I grew up in always had oodles of books lying around for the taking, and take them I did. But it would be nice to have a designated library within the home. If my mom has her way in the new house, I think it might finally be our time.
All we have to do is find the boxes with the rest of our books in them…
So today I went out for gyros with my cousin “Tom” (if you caught the Bicycle). He was always the “cool cousin” for me and my siblings growing up and even though we’re becoming pretty good buddies (he let me crash while I was between homes because he’s actually very nice) I still feel cool by association whenever we hang out.
Anyway, it just got me thinking that it really is the little things in life that make life so incredible. Silly things like hanging out with your kindred spirit cousin and his nice work friends who are as equally into Star Wars as you are, which is a rare find (note that by Star Wars I mean episodes 4-6 and possibly 7 if J.J. Abrams does a good job, I in no way recognize the overly CGI-ed and poorly acted disasters that they call episodes 1,2, &3).
But, I do confess that even though I always strike everyone as particularly positive and outgoing, I also have a quiet, introverted side that is more sensitive and has dealt with anxiety and depression in the past. And it’s hard going through stuff like that because you start to feel distant and wonder if you’ll ever be happy again. And you just do your best to let go of trying to control it and try to live each moment with patient faith. And as time passes you suddenly realize that you are happy again. And when you are, it’s even better than you remembered because you appreciate it more, especially those little things- like getting gyros with your cool cousin.
So today I was driving my dad’s car to a doctor appointment and the car was making the strangest noise. For the life of me I could not figure out what it was until it suddenly dawned on me like a light bulb in one of those old-fashioned cartoons “it’s the coke in my dad’s trunk moving around every time a make a turn!” (My dad keeps it on hand in case he gets tired on the long commute from Pittsburgh to Virginia that he makes most weekends). But I was sincerely glad that I was alone at that time because since I’ve watched my fair amount of cop shows where people get busted for having cocaine in the trunk I started giggling at how my realization would have sounded (out of its proper context) if there had been another person in the car. I probably looked pretty silly to anyone else on the road, but even if a cop had pulled me over and found the coke in my trunk that explained my irrational behavior, at least I could promise honestly that none of it was mine.