A New Faith

So today I had like $300 in my bank account. To some, this might not seem like a lot of money. But after being unemployed for a while and chipping through my savings, I feel like Trump (except his hair is better and I make an effort to think before speaking).

But it’s weird isn’t it? How priorities can change. Now that I’m actively earning money it seems like so little. But when I was flirting with bankruptcy, it felt like so much. To the point where being back to that number today makes me happy. I feel like I’ve replenished my savings a little bit, though they were admittedly meager and I have a ton of student loan debt. Some credit card debt too, but I promise not because of any shopaholic tendencies. Just life expenses like food.

And to be honest I don’t know if I know how poor I am. I’m fortunate to have parents who let me stay with them so the house I live in is nice. I also commute to work with my dad now that we both work in the city of Pittsburgh and he drives a Lexus so that’s also nice (because it has heated seat warmers). And I feel like I am finally managing to save a little which is not just nice it’s wonderful. I feel like I’m always breaking society’s rules because my life has none of the details of a worldly success story, yet I’m happy as a clam. I’m just content with my little life for right now. And for once instead of looking to the future or comparing myself to others or making plans of any kind I’m just at peace. Yet there’s also an uninvited but not unwelcome element of joy in it. So that’s pretty wonderful too.

I think the word for it is faith. I just have a faith I didn’t have before. That if God could get me out of what he got me out of in the past year, then there’s really nothing He can’t handle. And even though I have no idea what’s coming, I think everything will be okay. Because somehow everything turns out okay in the end. And if it’s not okay, it’s simply not the end yet. And I hope I can hold on to this new faith, because it makes all the difference.

faith

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