Doll House

Today I have nothing inspiring to say. It reminds me of this moment that requires a little back story to understand. (Bear with me). My sister and I are five years apart which means that when I was fifteen she was ten- I know that’s rather obvious for anyone who passed kindergarten but it’s extremely relevant to this particular story. Because when I was fifteen and my sister was ten we moved into a new house in Virginia and one of the first things we did was set up “American girl world.” Now American girl world refers to a particular brand of doll and (because we are crafty, resourceful, and have a mother who is charity itself) over the years we had managed to accumulate enough that it really was like a cozy miniature world in the comfort of our spare room. A staple we brought from our girlhood in Georgia. It definitely helped with the transition, but there was one problem this time: me.

In an experience I will never forget I sat down with my sister in American girl world and I couldn’t think of anything to say. No more dialogues, plots, or story arcs. My mind was blank. And I so badly wanted to play. So badly wanted that world to come alive for me effortlessly like it used to. But it didn’t.

I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s just a natural part of getting older. Maybe I was too self conscious. Or maybe I was just so tied to “reality” that I couldn’t get there anymore. Whatever the reason I sort of feel the same way when I want to write something amazing and I can’t. When I want to have this amazing spiritual experience and I don’t.

But there is a benefit to growing up, before this post gets too dreary. It’s that as we learn to weather these storms we learn that life has its seasons. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes things flow smoothly and sometimes things fall apart. And that’s okay. Because somehow we survive. God is always good. And life is always somehow weirdly beautiful as everything connects together into one incredible story.

So I’m hanging in there, until I have something inspiring to say.


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